"Do you have a boyfriend?"
That common question that gets asked to just about every single girl at some point in her life. Oddly enough, it keeps getting asked earlier and earlier, even to girls in middle and high school. It's also the question that just about every single girl usually dreads. The question us single girls are tired of hearing.
After I turned sixteen years old it became so much more common to hear this question asked to me. Friends, family, people I knew years ago, strangers, you name it. It's the question everyone wants to know the answer to because the world is obsessed with this Hollywood idea of "love."
We've been taught it from a young age. We've been trained since we were children that someday our prince charming would come and rescue us and until he did we would just have to wait for him. Or worse. The world today now teaches girls that if our prince charming hasn't come along yet, we need to go find him and take control ourselves. We are taught to act, speak, dress, and flirt in a way that draws the attention of the opposite gender. You don't have a boyfriend? Well, change your wardrobe or hairstyle a bit and maybe he'll come knocking on your door. Or so they tell us.
Maybe that's why us single ladies hate this question so much. Because if we answer "no" to the question of whether or not we have a boyfriend, we know the dreaded follow up question that is bound to come next.
"Well, why not?"
Although casual dating is kind of a newer thing, wasn't around a couple hundred years ago, it's now considered the "normal," and it's "weird" if you aren't casually dating or you don't have a boyfriend. So naturally if you are single the world is going to wonder why. Most people will mean well and even genuinely want to help. Yet this question still brings up dread in the heart of the single girl.
Because the truth?
We sometimes wonder it ourselves, don't we? We ask this question ourselves in the back of our minds. Why don't I have a boyfriend? Is something wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone want to date me? Will anyone ever love me?
If not kept under control, us ladies can begin to panic, wondering why we actually don't have a boyfriend, and eventually begin to critique all the things that we think are wrong with us.
I'm 20 years old and I've never had a boyfriend.
According to the world that's pretty weird (Let's be honest here though, most of my life is weird to the world...). And trust me, if I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if I had a boyfriend, I'd be rich by now. Now if you think you can handle it, I'll even share something that probably makes me even weirder...
Not only have I never had a boyfriend, but I also don't believe in casual dating either. Yep, I expected shock for a reaction.
You see, beautiful friend, your don't have to chase after boy after boy trying to find a love that will satisfy or trying to keep up with the world's idea of love. Casual dating is just that, casual. It includes no commitment. Someday if God wills that I get married, I want to enter into a dating/courting relationship with the mindset being commitment. Because I know that God says I'm priceless. You're priceless too. So here are 5 reasons why having a boyfriend should not be your only goal...
1. Your single years are a gift. Oh, sweet girl, your singleness is such a beautiful gift given to you right now. Every season in our lives is unique and beautiful, and singleness is no exception. If you are single right now, God has a very important reason for that. If He wants you to get married one day, He will and He will bring that right man into your life at the perfect time, His time. So for now, your goal is not to chase him down and find him. Your goal is not to pursue him or flaunt yourself to win his affection. Your goal is to use your time wisely. You're young. You only get these years once. You won't be this young forever. Why don't you use this time to do something great for God? Start a ministry for girls, begin a Bible study, write a book, invest in your siblings, learn how to cook (I'm still working on this one...). Use your single years wisely because they are a gift to you and a gift that you only get once in your life.
2. You already have a Prince. When you make finding an earthly love your only goal in life, you leave no room to pursue your true Lover. You see, the true Lover of your soul has been pursuing you since the day you were born. He has quietly been wooing you with His love and giving you reason upon reason to fall in love with Him. He is crazy about you. His love is the only thing you will ever need. His love is all that will satisfy you. When Jesus Christ died on that cross to rescue you, He was saying that He loved you more than anything else and would give everything up just to be with you forever. When you are secure in His love for you, that's when you understand that you don't have to have a boyfriend to be satisfied. You are satisfied in your true Prince. Use the time you have now to invest in your relationship with Him.
3. Your worth does not come from a boyfriend. This is a big one, girls. So often it can be easy for us to place our worth in man. It can be easy to convince ourselves that if we don't have a boyfriend, we aren't worthy of love or we are worthless. Listen closely to me as I cup your chin in my hands and look into those beautiful eyes of yours. Your worth does not come from any boy. Your worth comes from Jesus and He says you're priceless. He says you're worth dying for because He loves you. No man or person can take that from you.
4. Having a boyfriend is not the only reason you're alive. Honestly, neither is getting married. While both of these things are good things in God's timing, they are not why He created you. They are not the only reason you are alive on this earth. If these good things are in God's plan for your life, they will happen in His perfect timing and they will be a part of His perfect plan for your life. But your goal in life, the reason you are alive, is to honor your Creator. The reason you are here is so much bigger than yourself. Your goal should be to bring glory to His Name (Psalm 115:1). Your purpose should be to follow His will, whatever that may be in your life.
5. There's more to life than just boys. If you disagree, then your life is very boring. (Quote taken from the amazing Rachel.) It's so true, ladies. Life is not just about boys, falling in love, and getting a boyfriend. There's a giant big world out there to adventure in and discover! You've got goals, dreams, plans, adventures to live! Life is super exciting. I look back on what God's done in my life over the last several years and I'm amazed at the adventure He's led me on. If I was so focused on getting a boyfriend, I might not have had the time or energy to experience this great journey God has for me right now. He's got an adventure for you too, beautiful princess.
Girls, no boy will be able to complete you, so don't spend all your time trying to find one that will. The only One able to complete you already has. He calls you His princess. He has given you a gift right now of this moment and He wants you to live it to the fullest. It's not time to whine or sulk about wanting a boyfriend and it's not time to go out and flirt until you find one. It's time to embrace your princess identity and enjoy every moment of your life. It's time to celebrate.
Oh, and the next time someone asks you if you have a boyfriend?
You tell them you already found your true Prince and His Name is Jesus. ♥
Isabella Morganthal (20) is a homeschool high school graduate who loves Jesus with all of her heart. She is a drummer, writer, creative arts director, and modern-day abolitionist.