"I've never had a headache." I raised my eyebrows and stared at my friend. "Like ever?" I couldn't imagine someone never having a headache or migraine because for me...it was an almost daily battle. You see, I have chronic migraines. I've grown up with them for just about as long as I can remember. I know the debilitating pain that throbs and aches for hours, maybe even days. I know the light and noise sensitivities. I know the way a radio playing can make you feel like a thousand hammers are pounding on your skull or the way the simple scent of a vanilla candle can make your stomach turn over. I know the way you have to call out of work because the pain is so intense you can't even stand up. I know the way it feels to cancel lunch with a friend because you can't walk without the throbbing pain. I know the way you feel lonely when your group of friends are hanging out but you stayed behind because you were just too sick to go. I know all of this because I have lived with a chronic illness. And if this feels just a little bit like you too, then there are just a few things I wish I could tell you. I wish I could cup your chin in my hands and smile into your beautiful eyes and tell you that you really are going to be okay. But for now let me share with you just a few things that I have learned on my journey with chronic pain. A few things that I want you to always remember. 1) It's okay if all you did today was wake up. This world is so good at trying to convince us that our worth is hidden in all of our successes and achievements, isn't it? In a world that is obsessed with their definition of success, the one living with chronic illness can feel a little bit left behind. So here's the thing, friend: your worth does not come from your success. Your worth does not come from all the things you checked off your to-do list for the day. Your worth is found in Christ. Your identity is found in Christ. 1 Peter 2:9 says that you are chosen and you are God's special treasure. It doesn't say that based on what you've done or not done. It says that because of what Christ has done for you. So it really is okay if all you had the energy for today was waking up and breathing. It really is okay if you didn't feel well enough to get out of your pajamas. Because your worth is not in what you accomplish, but in Whose you are. 2) The little things are actually the big things. Sometimes we think changing the world looks a whole lot like ending world hunger, or putting a stop to abortion, or bringing the gospel to the jungles of India. And for the one fighting chronic illness, this can make us feel a little bit insignificant. After all, when fighting chronic pain you don't always have the energy to go out and change the world in all these big ways the media shouts out. But the truth? Changing the world actually looks a whole lot like smiling at every person you come in contact with, or looking on the bright side even when it's hard, or making cookies to enjoy with your siblings. You know, God's kingdom is so opposite the world. And in God's kingdom, the little things really are the big things. 3) You are a warrior. You may not be out there fighting a war or a battle that people can see. You may not be in the media or the news as a hero. But that's the thing about chronic illness. You're fighting a battle that no one can see and it's hard. Trust me, I know it's hard. Friend, you are not a victim to this illness. You are a warrior over this illness. Because every day that you wake up and pray for the strength to fight again, you are gaining a victory over your pain. I know some days it may feel like you don't have any energy left to fight but take heart, friend. His strength lives in you. "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Corinthians 12:9) Keep on fighting this battle. You are God's brave warrior. 4) He knows the plans that He has for you. You may think it cliche to say, but it's the truth. He really does know the plans that He has for you. And here's the thing: He's crazy about you. He loves you more than you could imagine. He's not ignoring your pain and suffering. He's not failing to listen to your prayers. He's not forgetting about you. "Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31) He hears you. He sees you. He cares for you so deeply. But He also knows what is best for you--even when you don't understand. So trust Him and keep believing in His perfect plan for your life. Living with chronic illness isn't easy, but you really will make it through this. Keep on fighting, friend. Don't give up.
Bella Morganthal
3/5/2018 11:37:59 pm
Thank you so much, Grace! <3
Bella Morganthal
3/5/2018 11:38:15 pm
Thank you for reading, Maria :) 2/20/2018 07:46:53 pm
This is so encouraging, Bella! My mom has a chronic illness and I think this will really inspire her! I'm sorry you have such headaches, I know that is hard. =(
Bella Morganthal
3/5/2018 11:38:46 pm
Thank you, Liv! Praying for your mom tonight! <3
Beth
2/20/2018 08:24:36 pm
Thanks for sharing Bella!! Praying for your healing!
Bella Morganthal
3/5/2018 11:39:02 pm
Thank you, Beth!! <3
Bella Morganthal
3/5/2018 11:39:36 pm
Aw, so glad to hear that you read this when you needed it, Sarah! Praying for you! <3 Comments are closed.
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