For the one fighting chronic illness, life can be hard. Even normal, daily activities can often seem like you’re attempting to climb a mountain but can never quite reach the top. I understand, for I have battled chronic migraines for most of my life. When you have chronic pain or illness you can feel as if you were walking down a road and you were suddenly attacked by robbers that stole something very precious from you. You fought them but you kept being knocked down until you didn’t have any more strength to fight. The precious thing stolen from chronic pain warriors is their time. Time with their loved ones. Time doing what they love to do. Time that they should be living free of pain. While battling my chronic migraine and fatigue, I often had to cancel meetings with friends or family. I had to stop doing what I wanted to do because of the pain. One day a friend asked me if she was upsetting me and that’s why I had kept cancelling our plans to get together. I remember a new realization hitting me. How must the family and friends of those battling chronic illness feel? While I processed this, I came up with just a few things that I want you to understand if you love someone who fights chronic pain and illness. These are just four things that your chronically ill loved one really wants you to know. Four things I want to remind my family and friends. “I’m doing my best.” Chronic pain can be exhausting. We really are trying to be normal and keep smiling through it, but sometimes…sometimes it’s too much. I know it can seem like we get irritated more quickly and we really are sorry for those times. We want to do better, to conquer the pain more than the last time. But for now, please remember that we are doing our very best. “I don’t mean to be unreliable.” If you knew me before my chronic illness, you would know that I did not cancel plans unless there was an emergency. I have a strong sense of reliability and I have always wanted to be someone you could count on. It’s not easy for me to make plans and cancel them so often. It’s not easy for any of us who fight this. We don’t mean to come across as unreliable. We don’t mean to disappoint you. Please, remember how very much we want to spend time with you and follow through with our plans. But sometimes…sometimes we know that our bodies just need to rest. “Just because I don’t look sick, doesn’t mean I’m not sick.” You may see me at the mall laughing with friends or at work talking to customers with a smile on my face. And on the outside I may look just as healthy as anyone else. But just because I don’t look sick, doesn’t mean that I’m not sick. Please, remember that we can be sick and still smile, so don’t push us to prove how sick we are. Please, be gentle and remember that I have more sick days than I do healthy days, but I may never tell you that. “Remember that I always love you.” I may cancel plans and I may not text you or call you as often as I would like. I may forget to reply to your messages for weeks at a time. I may forget to tell you sometimes how much you mean to me. But please, always remember how very much I do love you. When we’re fighting these battles against our own bodies, we can become so distracted, but we do know…we know how hard it is on you too. We are so grateful for the way you stand beside us through it all and always try to help. And we love you. To all my family and friends, I love you so much. Don’t ever doubt our love for you. To the one who wonders if she's missing out: Growing up isn't easy and life...life can feel so rushed in this world that never stops. This world that pushes you to constantly know what you're doing next and where you're going from here. But it can all feel just a little much sometimes, can't it? It can feel as if you're trying to catch your breath above waves that keep coming. You can never quite get above them. And all the while social media screams at you what you should and should not be doing. What your life should and should not look like. What their lives look like and how great everything seems to be going for them. You feel as if you're missing out on all the things you're supposed to be doing. Maybe even missing out on who you're supposed to be. If I could sit and have coffee with you today, I would look into your eyes and assure you...the girl who trusts God with her future never misses out on what He has planned for her. It can be so hard to be still, right? To just pause and wait on Him and trust in what you can't see. Especially when the world never stops and doesn't think you should either. It is brave to be still. It is brave to wait on Him. It is brave to pause and realize that life isn't meant to be lived from one activity to the next. Life is meant to be lived from one moment of trust in Him to the next. So yes, you may feel just slightly lonely today as you wonder if you've missed out on all the wonderful things that your friends are doing. You may feel as if you've missed out on some important things according to the world. But the important things God has for you will never, ever miss you. That is one thing in this crazy world that you never have to worry about. For He assures you that He has good and perfect plans for your life (Jeremiah 29:11) and that no matter what His plans for you will come to pass. (Psalm 138:8 ESV) So maybe today it's okay if you feel a little left out and a little like you're missing out. Because no matter what you feel, you know that He is working it all out in the stillness and the waiting. Your time is coming too. To the one who feels too much: Perhaps you've been told that you're being dramatic or attention-seeking. Perhaps you've felt misunderstood...for it is sometimes hard for you to even understand. Perhaps you've felt like you are too much because you feel too much. Too much for the people in your life. Too much for others to handle. Too much for everything you wish you were. Perhaps they've told you that you should just bury it inside and stop being so "immature" about the things that hurt you. And maybe...just maybe you've said these things to yourself too. You've convinced yourself that you can be just a little too passionate or a little too excited. You've decided that you feel pain too deeply and you must avoid it all costs because the little things hurt you more than you wish to admit and it can all be just a little too much. And somewhere in all of it is the question, "Am I too much?" Just because you feel too much does not mean that you are too much. Just because your feelings run deeper than others does not mean that you are abnormal. Yes, you may feel too much at times and sometimes it all may seem like too much. But dear soul, you are a special kind of person. A genuine, compassionate one who brings so much color to this world. Your feelings may seem to overwhelm you at times and you may have wondered why you can't just be "normal" and more like the others. This is okay. It's okay to feel deeply. It's okay to embrace all these things you're feeling. God has given you these feelings for a reason. He has chosen you to have this soft heart for a purpose. When He created you He made you fearfully and wonderfully and to Him...you're never, ever too much. He is there with you through every feeling, through all of the "too much." His heart is for you and He doesn't walk out when your heart breaks over what they may tell you are "little things." Don't hide who you are for them, brave one. Embrace who He has made you. So yes, you feel too much at times. And yes, at times you can be overwhelmed with the weight of the emotions that crash into your soul all at once. Don't hide them and push them aside. Bring them to Him, won't you? Bring every deep feeling--the good and the bad--to the foot of His cross. And look for the people He has put in your life who will embrace you for who you are and remind you how much He cares about every emotion you feel. Yes, sweet soul, allow yourself to be real and genuine and feel even when it's hard. For it is okay. And if at times it becomes too much and you forget...remind yourself that your feelings and all of this "too much" doesn't control you. You are a child of God and you are His no matter what. No emotions can change that. You are a priceless treasure in this world that rarely takes the time to feel so deeply. So breathe in and out. You are going to be okay. Your future is controlled by the One who knows every emotion raging in your soul. Rest in Him. Keep on being "too much" when they tell you that you shouldn't feel so deeply. For you are not too much. This world needs that big heart of yours. It is brave to feel. Keep being brave. Hi friends! My dear, sweet friend, Beth just released her second book she titled: Jesus, You Make the Darkness Tremble. I am so excited for her and hope that you will join me in celebrating her and this brand new book that I'm sure will bless many! For this blog tour, I'm going to share a little about her book and a short interview we put together for you! Let's go... Book Description:There is so much darkness in the world...from failed relationships to suicide and school shootings. But while it may seem we're drowning in darkness, there is still Hope. And that Hope is in Jesus Christ. Jesus, You Make the Darkness Tremble touches on many subjects...such as relationships, anxiety, depression, and judging. This book shows how every generation, young and old, can rise up and get back to being honorable men and women of God. It shows how, with Jesus, we can kick the devil back to where he came from. Are you ready to start making some darkness tremble? Are you ready to make it vanish? Yes? Then let's go. Interview with Beth Jane:Bella: What was the most challenging part of your journey with this book? Beth: Definitely the attacks I received from the enemy. He came very hard at me when I got serious about this book. If it wasn't for God...I seriously wouldn't be alive today. But thankfully God is faithful when He calls you to something. He is bigger than anything the devil can bring against us. I'm free today because of Him! Bella: What inspired this book the most? Beth: Well I guess the answer would be this: I was pressed by God to write something for all generations, and what prompted this calling was the issues that were around me....like failed relationships, ect. All and all the world is dark, and God prompted me to tell about His answers to these dark situations! Bella: Why is this book important to you? Beth: Because God called me to it. It's a most special thing He called me to. It's like His and my own special message. And He's taught me lots of lessons. It's been amazing! Bella: If readers only take away one thing from this book, what do you want it to be? Beth: Prompt them to live the royal lives they have in Jesus, forsaking the world. Bella: If you could invent any ice cream flavor, what would it be? :) Beth: Hmm.....I feel like it would be a candy flavor.... but that would be nasty after a few bites, lol! Bella: Thanks so much, Beth! So proud of you and your new book! You're amazing <3 Beth (18) is an indie author who loves Jesus and seeks to share Jesus through her writing! Jesus, You Make the Darkness Tremble, is her second published book, all the Glory to God! You can keep up with her on her Instagram: @bethjane_author, or on her blogs, bethere4ualways.blogspot.com and thisredeemedgirl16.blogspot.com, and her YouTube channel,Wholeheartedly Abandoned! God Bless you all!!! Walking into Wal-Mart the other day, I was met by an over-abundance of yellow packaging holding all the notebooks, pencils, erasers, and back-to-school accessories you could imagine. All of it being a bright reminder that we're officially at that season of the year again. Back to school season! I'm not entirely sure where the summer went, but with the middle of August here already, we'll be entering fall before we know it. So in honor of this season of our year, I've put together a post of just a handful of things I want those of you who are going back to school, to remember. Whether you're homeschooled (like I was!), or private school, or public school, I hope this post helps you prepare almost as much as all those yellow tubs full of notebooks and pencils at Wal-Mart do. 1. Enjoy every season. When I look back on my school years, I can't believe how quickly they went by. While living them they didn't always feel like they were going fast, but looking back it's hard to believe how long it's been since I turned the tassel on my graduation cap. Life goes fast, so cherish every season you are in right now. At the moment, school may be your season. Maybe you're close to graduation or maybe you still have a few years left, but while you're in this season, embrace it. Don't wish it away. 2. Give everything your best. Don't get to the end of this school year, look back, and regret that you held anything back because you did less than your best. Work so that at the end of the school year you can look back and know that you gave it your best. Colossians 3:23 says: "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men." This applies to schoolwork too! 3. Be willing to offer help. Do you see another student struggling with something that you're good at? Jump in and help them this year. If you're homeschooled, do you have a sibling struggling, or someone in your co-op group? If you're in a private or public school, pay attention to the other students in your class. Look for ways that you can reach out and help others this school year. 4. Keep Jesus first. I'm about to tell you something very contrary to what the world says, and I'm okay with that. Your relationship with Jesus and staying in His Word is so much more important than any school work or education you are receiving. Something my mom used to tell me in homeschool was that if all we did in school one day was complete our Bible lessons, then we had at least completed what was most important. This is definitely not your excuse to goof off and not get school done or to give only ten percent in your studies. But what I am saying is this, and it's very important: If you allow education and school work to take first place in your day over your relationship with Jesus, then it has become an idol. This goes for anything in your life taking first place over Jesus. If you have to get up earlier or cut out other things in your life to get your Bible time and school work done in one day, then do it. But make time to spend with Jesus before anything else. Happy back-to-school! Comment below and let me know which of you are going back to school this year. :) I have never been good at taking medicine. Coming from someone who has endured chronic migraine for the majority of her life and should be used to taking medicine by now, I am known to wait until my pain is so bad I can't stand it before I face my fear of swallowing a pain pill. Yet there are some medicines that seem easier to swallow than others. And I'm not talking about Tylenol or Advil. There is "medicine" that we use for the pains in our life that we sometimes don't even realize we're using. Addictions we form to painkillers that we wouldn't even admit we're taking sometimes. Perhaps your medicine is pride. You use it to show everyone around you what a good job you're doing and receive all the compliments that affirm you. You've used it to try to heal the pain of insecurity lurking underneath the shadows in your heart. Perhaps your medicine is romance. You use it to go from one romantic relationship to the next, trying to prove that you are worthy of love. You've used it to try to heal the pain you felt when someone made you feel unlovable or worthless. Perhaps your medicine is addiction to what the world offers. You become addicted to things that don't even seem all that bad sometimes, maybe shopping or eating or sports or social media. Or maybe it's addictions you know are bad, but can't seem to stop. But you just keep clinging to whatever will fill the ache in your soul for a little while. Perhaps your medicine is anger. You use it to block out all of the hurt that you've felt from the betrayals, disappointments, and changes that life brings to each of us. You use it to put up bars around your heart that you think will somehow keep the pain away. The list of medicines that we use could go on and on. But here's the thing about these medicines that their labels don't tell you: They may numb your pain for a short while, but they can never heal you in all the ways you really need healed. The people of Israel made the same mistakes. They thought they had found things that could satisfy them more than God. They continually chased after idols and worldly things that only left them more empty than when they started. God said this about it: "For My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn themselves cisterns--broken cisterns that can hold no water." (Jeremiah 2:13) Broken cisterns that can hold no water? Surely you must know this feeling. When we turn to all of the "medicines" of this world to numb the pain in our hearts, it's like we're pouring into buckets that are so filled with holes, the water pours out almost as quickly as we're pouring in. And we're left empty. Emptier than before. So what then? What cisterns could possibly be sturdy enough to hold all of the ache in our hearts and turn it into something beautiful? What "medicine" could actually cure the wounds instead of just mask them? There is only One who can truly do all of those things. "For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness." (Psalm 107:9) "And Jesus said to them, 'I am the Bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst." (John 6:35) Only when you pour all of your hurts and the ache in your soul into Jesus will you receive a healing that satisfies and covers every wound left in your heart. None of the broken cisterns we try to fill up can satisfy us the way Jesus Christ can. None of our medicines of the world can heal us the way Jesus Christ can. So run to Him. Throw everything you have into Him. Give Him all of the hurts and the sorrows and the sins and let Him carry it. What is your medicine today? Is it a broken cistern...or is it Jesus? When I was a little girl, I loved to watch the stars. Perhaps it was because I was afraid of the dark, but then what little girl isn’t? The stars always made the darkness feel a little bit more bearable. They were like flashlights from heaven, shining a little bit of light into my world when the sun was resting and the sky was dark. Some days the stars would shine brighter than I’d ever seen them shine before. And some days the stars would barely shine at all, hidden beneath clouds that blocked my view of them. But as a little girl, I knew to just wait, wait until the next night because then the stars would shine just as bright as ever. If you don’t mind some old-fashioned honesty, I’ll let you know a secret: sometimes I’m still afraid of the dark. No, not the dark of nighttime or the dark rooms I used to hesitate walking into when I was little. Instead, I now fear a different kind of darkness — one that settles around me a little bit tighter with every broken dream, with every crushed plan, every deep wound. When my sickness holds me back from life, I feel the darkness wrap tighter. When relationships aren’t as easy as I once thought they would be, the darkness becomes thick. And sometimes it is hard to understand the purpose of this darkness. Have you felt this way too? It was a complete honor to have my words shared on (in)courage today. I would love for you to read them and let me know what you think. What ways do you look for the stars in your life, friends? And sign up here to receive free notes from (in)courage, delivered daily to your inbox! I don't know about you, but I love shopping online. After all, who doesn't? It is so much fun to order something and then a few days later open up your mailbox to find a box addressed to you. Just me? Perhaps it has to do with my love for mail. But that is besides the point. Regardless, there are some days I get frustrated with online shopping. I remember one time I needed a t-shirt by a certain date. I ordered my size online and when it arrived, I excitedly tore into the package. But the size was definitely not what I had ordered. Frustrated, I rushed to call the online store and get the size issue sorted out, but the correct size wouldn't come by the day I needed it. Sometimes I think we treat prayer a little bit like this. We pray for what we want, then when the answer to our prayer comes and it's not at all what we asked for, we become frustrated and wonder what the whole point of praying was. When we treat prayer like this, we lose sight of what prayer really is. I remember a time I prayed for something I really wanted. I prayed hard and consistently. And the answer God gave me was nothing at all what I had prayed for. In fact, it was the total opposite of what I prayed for. Why? It didn't make sense. And this makes me ask myself: What is the purpose of prayer? I think to answer this question we must first ask two follow-up questions. Is it possible to change God's mind through prayer? And if it isn't possible to change God's mind through prayer, what is the point in praying? I think if we can answer these questions, we can get a better idea of the purpose of prayer and what it really is. So first, can we change God's mind with our prayers? The first Bible story that comes to my mind is found in Genesis 18:16-33. Because of the wickedness of Sodom and Gomorrah, God intended to destroy the city. Yet Abraham prayed to God and asked Him to spare the city if He could find fifty righteous living there. Throughout the dialogue, Abraham keeps asking for the Lord to spare the city until he gets down to ten righteous people. God kept agreeing and finally agreed that if there were ten righteous in the city, He would not destroy it. When you first look at this story, it looks like Abraham changed God's mind right? However, if you keep reading into chapter 19, we see two angels that the Lord sent to Sodom to seek out those righteous men. Because of the intense wickedness of the city, the angels told Lot that he was to flee with his family, because they had been sent to destroy the city. Here's the truth that we often forget: God is all-knowing, God is all-powerful, God's thoughts and ways are so much higher than our own. And God is God--we are not. God already knew that He would need to destroy the city. Yet, He listened to Abraham's prayer and sought out the ten righteous, even though He already knew they were not there. Abraham didn't know that, but God did. Sometimes we believe that we know what is best. We think that what we are praying for is the best option because it's what we so desperately want. But we don't see the whole picture. We don't see the ending. We're only seeing a small piece of the grand picture of life. But God? God sees it all. "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord." (Isaiah 55:8) His thoughts and His knowledge is so much higher than ours. We could never understand it. But this begs the next question: If God already knows what is going to happen and will accomplish His will no matter what, why pray to change things? I may not be entirely qualified to answer these big questions, but I have walked this journey of when God says no, and He has taught me much along those deserts. First, here are three things you should remember about prayer: Prayer is a conversation with your Heavenly Father. God is not a vending machine or online shopping retailer. Prayer draws you closer to God and invests in your relationship with Him. The best verse I can point you to is hidden in 1 John 5:14-15. "Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions we have asked of Him." Read it once more, because there's a very important part of this verse that we often miss. "That if we ask anything according to His will..." The prayer that will change your life is this: "Not my will, but Yours be done, Father." Jesus Himself prayed this prayer in the Garden of Gathsemane. He asked that God would remove the suffering He was about to endure, but He ended with, "Not as I will, but as You will." (Matthew 26:39) Jesus even taught us to pray this way in Matthew 6:10. Remember this: The will of God is good and perfect. Easy? Nope. I have cried much and wrestled with His will more times than I can count. Because I am merely human and I don't understand. But He does. When it is hard to accept the will of God and when it is hard to accept that you prayed for something that wasn't His will, hold onto this: God loves you and God has a perfect plan that isn't easy but that will make more sense one day when you are standing in His presence. What then is the purpose of prayer? Texting is one way that I communicate with my friends. I ask questions, I share my own heart and struggles, and I listen. Prayer is how you and I communicate with God. We can share our struggles, our fears, and our hurt or anger. But we must also remember to listen and ask God what He would have for us, no matter how hard it is. Prayer draws you closer to the One who already knows everything about you. Prayer allows you the opportunity to talk to the One who loved you so much He died for you. And although God already knows everything that is going to happen, He wants to use your prayers to fight spiritual battles. He wants to use you to intercede for family or friends on their behalf and call on Him to rescue. He wants to use your prayers and listen to your prayers, according to His will. He may say no. Sometimes it may seem He is saying no a lot. But every good parent has to say no at times. I can't tell you why God's will didn't include Him answering your prayer in the way you wanted. I can't tell you why God's will means your heart breaking. But I can promise you this one thing with all of my heart: God loves you and He will never abandon you. Pray to Him when you don't understand. He is the One who holds all the answers. Thy will be done. Hi friends! Since I missed my regular post on Monday, I am jumping in today with a book review I recently did. :) I recently read the book "Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart for Teens" by J.D. Greear and here are my thoughts... The number one thing that I appreciated about this book was all the Scripture that was used. The author based everything they shared off of Biblical evidence and backed everything up with Scripture. This edition was put into terms that were much easier to understand because it was geared towards teens, but the author still did not sugarcoat anything. He told everything like it is and challenged every reader with his words. This book did an excellent job of explaining salvation and how to become saved. It's a great resource for teenagers or even new believers. If you've questioned the assurance of your salvation, I would recommend this book to you, because he points you to Scripture and not just his own ideas of things. (I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review) J. D. Greear is lead pastor of The Summit Church, a multi-site congregation in Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina. He holds an M.Div. in International Church Planting and a Ph.D. in Systematic Theology from the Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. Greear also lived and worked among Muslims in Southeast Asia for two years and wrote Breaking the Islam Code. He and his wife have four children. I had a book review to post today and I quickly finished reading the book this morning so I could post the review this afternoon. Before I wrote the review, I ran out to the mailbox to get the mail because receiving mail is one of my favorite things. When I opened our mailbox (like a ninja, mind you, to avoid coming in contact with the spider on top), I saw a lovely decorated envelope addressed to me. There was no return address, so I hurried inside to open it. When I read the contents of the sweet note, I felt so blessed. There was no name signed, but I was amazed that someone had taken the time to send such a sweet encouragement to me as a writer. So instead of sharing my book review today, the author of my mystery note has inspired me to instead write a little post about random acts of kindness. We live in the painful reality of a broken world, and sometimes true kindness is harder and harder to find. Yet we all know how wonderful it feels when we are the recipient of an act of kindness. So why don't we start showering the people around us with kindness today? I have decided to compile a short list of ten random acts of kindness that are so simple you can complete one or two of them even today! 1. Do an extra chore for a family member. Is it your sibling's turn to wash the dishes or take out the trash? Do it for them! But try your best to get it done before they notice. If my mom has gone out to water her flowers, I will pay attention to that and hurry to go make her bed for her before she comes back inside. 2. Send a "Thinking of you!" text to a friend you haven't chatted with in a long time. I love receiving these from friends and I make it a point to send them as often as I'm able. It takes less than fifteen second just to type, "Thought of you today! Praying for you!" But it could make that person's day so much brighter. 3. Send a surprise note in the mail. It doesn't have to be long and you don't even have to go all out with decorating the envelope if you don't have time. But take a card or piece of paper and just write out a short encouragement. Maybe it's a Bible verse you write or a little prayer, but share something encouraging and then send it off on its way to encourage the recipient! 4. Pray for someone you know is going through a hard time. I think one of the most special blessings in life is having friends who go to God in prayer for you, even when you don't realize it. The person you're praying for doesn't even need to know you did, but God hears. Pray for His blessing on your person today. 5. Give a compliment to every cashier, waitress, or store worker that you come in contact with. Do you have to run to the grocery store quickly? Going to dinner? Need to buy shoes before Sunday? Working in retail now and having worked in restaurants in the past, I know how hard that kind of work can be. A simple, "Your smile lights up this place!" or "Hope you're having a great day so far!" or "Thank you for being so friendly," can really go a long way. 6. Slip a little note into your parent's or sibling's Bible. Stick it next to your favorite verse and just say something short and sweet like, "I love you!" or "You're the best." 7. Text a friend and set up a lunch date. Tell them you've thought of them today and ask if they're available to hang out soon to talk about Jesus and eat some yummy food! If your close friends don't live near you, set up a video chat lunch date. I've done this before and we've still had just as much fun sitting at home eating our lunches and chatting over FaceTime. 8. Bake something extra for your neighbors. Are you baking any treats today? Maybe making a special casserole or dish? Cupcakes (because cupcakes are always a good idea)? Make just a little bit extra than you normally would and package it up and run it over to your neighbors! I'm sure it'll be a pleasant surprise in their day. 9. See a need? Meet it. Don't wait to be asked. If you overhear someone mentioning a need they have--whatever it may be--and you're more than able to help out, do so! Jump in and get it done. 10. Smile. Your smile could light up your world, friend. Let it. Let the light of Jesus shine through your smile as you give it to everyone today--even the hard ones. Let's light up this world with a little bit extra kindness today. And confetti. (Because confetti is super fun when it is thrown around virtually and you don't have to clean it up.) Are you with me? What sort of random acts of kindness do you like to do? What acts of kindness have you shown today? Pain is something that each of us inevitably feels in our lives. Maybe it's overwhelming grief from an unexpected loss, or rejection that stings, or maybe the pain from harsh and unkind words. Maybe it's the pain of a betrayal or a heartbreak that makes you wonder if it's possible to go on. Maybe it's even a chronic physical pain that wears you down every day. Whatever the pain is, we have all felt it. We live in a fallen world where pain is a part of every day life. But pain hurts. And even if we don't want to admit it, it can be easy to put up guards around our hearts to avoid pain at all costs. Instead of letting ourselves feel the pain, we mask it. Sadness turns into bitterness. Pain turns into anger. And when we do not allow ourselves to feel pain, we prevent ourselves from healing properly. Here's the thing about anger: Anger convinces us that if we are just angry over what happened to us, then we don't have to feel the full blow of the pain. Angrily arguing with someone who hurt you or treating them badly in return, is oftentimes a whole lot easier than saying, "Hey, you really hurt me." And the thing that anger doesn't tell you? It doesn't take away the pain, it just buries it inside a prison that prevents the true healing you desperately need. I know it's hard. I know it's hard to fully feel that pain you're carrying in your heart and I know it's hard to embrace something that hurts so much. But you never have to feel that pain on your own. "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit." (Psalm 34:18) "You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?" (Psalm 56:8) If you are brave enough to feel that pain, you will find that He is holding you and bringing the healing that you truly need. When life hurts, instead of becoming bitter or angry and running away from the pain, embrace it, so that He can embrace you right there in the midst of all of it. "Believe in yourself!" "You got this." "You can do whatever you want to do." These are sentences that the world throws our way on a consistent basis. They're on home decor, T-shirts, magazine covers, and all throughout the media. Constant messages meant to encourage young people to believe in themselves, the power of their dreams, and the ability to do whatever they want in life. And they seem harmless at first, right? What's wrong with believing in yourself? Or believing that you've got what it takes to make your dreams come true? Well, nothing. From the surface. But as I've looked around at my generation listening to these things, I've begun to see a pattern. A pattern of young people becoming prideful in their self-confidence and believing that they can do things their own way. I'm definitely not exempt from this either. I've tried to do things on my own. I've tried to just "believe in myself." And do you know what I've found? I fail. When we try to believe that we've got things on our own and we can be confident in our own abilities to handle life, we will fail because we were never meant to do things on our own. We were not created to just believe in ourselves. John 14:1 encourages us, "Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me." In this verse Jesus doesn't say, "You believe in God, believe also in yourself." Nope. He says to believe in Him. In Philippians 4:13 it says: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." It doesn't end at "I can do all things." It says that we can only do all those things through Christ. When I think back to John 14:1, the first part of it really gets me. Don't let your heart be troubled. At what point does my heart become troubled with anxiety? When I'm believing in myself to do everything. I believe that self-confidence is a lie the world is feeding us. The lie that, "If you work hard enough, you can do whatever you want to do. Just believe in yourself." That sort of self-confidence is a lie. And here's the true reality: On your own you can do nothing. But with God on your side, anything is possible. So what have I learned about true confidence in this world that has told me to just believe in myself? I have learned that God-confidence is what I need most of all, not self-confidence. And that true confidence comes from my belief in God's ability to work everything out for good. I don't have this on my own, but I know the One who's got me. I don't have the ability to make every single one of my dreams come true, but I know the One who holds my future and has good plans for me, whatever they may include. I believe in the God who loves me endlessly, and that gives me the courage to believe in who He has created me to be for His glory. Where is your confidence today? I never thought it could happen to me. I knew people who were sick. I knew people who had chronic illnesses with names that were sometimes hard to even pronounce. I knew people who struggled to be healthy. But me? I never thought that could be me. I never thought that at twenty-one years old I would struggle with having the energy to walk outside. I never thought that at twenty-one I would keep a calendar simply to check off the days when I felt good...the days that were few and far between. I never thought that at twenty-one my purse would sound like I carried around a pharmacy because of the medicines I had to make sure I kept with me always. I never thought that at twenty-one I would spend more days sick than healthy. I remember one of the first times it felt so unfair. I remember how it felt when my family asked me if I wanted to go with them on a walk down the street. And oh, how I wanted to go. But my body just couldn't. I just didn't have the strength in my body to walk out the door or handle the ache in my legs when I walked. I remember opening a text my sister sent me saying that she wished I had come along. And I wished I could've come along too. I remember the way I cried. I remember the way I asked God that day: "Why me? I'm so young. Why can't I live my life?" I'm not sure if I'll ever know why, but I really don't think that's the point anyway. I don't need to be concerned with why because the how is so much more important. How am I going to use this sickness for His glory? How am I going to live my one life for Him regardless of my physical circumstances? Isn't that the point after all? To not become so consumed with why we must suffer a certain trial or why He chose us for this path, but instead how we can glorify Him through it? I'm certainly not an expert at this and I certainly have my days where all I want to do is curl up with a blanket and hide from the world and the pain, but I've learned some things along this journey of chronic pain and sickness. Oh, yes, how I've learned things. First, I have learned that His grace is sufficient for all of my needs. The Lord is my Shepherd. I have no need for anything. He meets every one. In the pain, He is my Healer. In the weakness, He is my strength. In the discouragement, He is the Lifter of my head. I don't have to do everything on my own because I can't. But with my God I can scale any wall or sickness I ever face. (Psalm 18:29, Psalm 23:1, 2 Corinthians 12:9) But I have also learned that it is okay to rest. When I look at the story of Mary and Martha in the later part of Luke chapter 10, I can certainly identify with Martha. I seemed to always be doing for Jesus, that I didn't take as much time to be with Jesus. I didn't slow down. I didn't rest at the feet of Jesus as Mary did. And then I got sick. Being sick makes you rest a whole lot more than you would sometimes like. I felt ashamed. I felt like a failure. I felt like there was so much I could be doing and I wasn't able to do it. And that's when I knew: Being with Jesus is just as important as working for Jesus. It is one hundred percent okay to rest. Finally, chronic illness taught me that life is precious and I should cherish every moment. Every moment may not be easy to embrace, but every moment can be faced with courage, because the God I serve? The God I serve is good. He is good to me and He is good always. Maybe some days it's harder to feel the goodness, but I will never stop believing it. All of those moments--the hard and the good--go so fast and life passes by before I know it. This past February, my life consisted of coming home from work and then laying down in a dark room in so much pain that I couldn't get up. So many times I would say to myself, "I don't want to cherish these moments. I just want these moments of pain to go by really fast." I felt like I was wishing my life away. So I tried doing something new. I would search for the good moments in even the pain. Like the moments when a family member would bring me home a favorite snack to help me feel better. Or when I would feel the embrace of God in those moments when I couldn't lift my head on my own. With all of this said, yes, I never thought this would be my story. And no, I don't know why. Maybe you feel the same. Maybe you don't know why either and maybe you don't understand why this is your story. I stand with you in this, friend. I want to look into your eyes and tell you to keep going. To never give up. To keep fighting this battle bravely every day. And as I cup your face in my hands and look into your eyes I want you to forget the question of why and I just want to know... How are you going to glorify Him through it? Have you ever been so busy that your head feels like it's spinning? We live in a world that is constantly on the go. We're constantly moving from one activity to the next, turning in one deadline only to struggle towards another, and scrolling through endless social media feeds. We have constant information thrown our way and people need things from us daily. How do you juggle the endless demands of life without burning out? How do you handle all of life's responsibilities without feeling exhausted and empty? I certainly don't have this skill mastered and I can be known for stretching myself too thin. But this past year as I have battled many health issues, I have learned a few things about rest that I'm not sure I would've learned if God hadn't slowed me down physically. So here are four ways that you can rest when you feel that emptiness of burn-out creeping in... 1. Make sure you're putting Jesus first. I know it can be so hard when you have a hundred things pulling at you as soon as you wake up. But if you don't fill yourself up with Jesus first before meeting all those demands, then you are going to burn out. Spend time having a conversation with Him. Give Him your to-do list. Ask Him what He has for you this day. Become refreshed in His Word. When you're full of Him, then you're better able to pour out to others throughout the day. 2. Learn to wait for best. I hate saying no to people. That's just how I am. I tend to say yes to every person who asks or every opportunity presented to me and then suddenly my to-do list is so full that when God's best for me comes along, I have no space to fit it into my schedule. I know it's hard to say no. I know it's hard to feel like you're disappointing someone. But learn how to graciously decline an invitation or opportunity while still thanking the person asking, but letting them know you just can't fit it into your schedule this time. Pray about all of your decisions before making them, and when you allow space in your schedule for God, He will bring you the best He has for your schedule. 3. Stop scrolling through Instagram. We can get so caught up on all of the many social media apps on our phones that we lose track of time and before long, two, three, even four hours have passed and we're nowhere near done the to-do list we had for the day. Pay attention to how much time you're spending scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. There are so many people to love, don't get caught up in just studying their lives from afar. If you want to connect with someone, send them a text or a private message or an email and genuinely ask them how they're doing. Connect with them personally and get off of your social feeds. 4. Set aside one day a week where you just REST. I don't care what you do on this day or what day of the week this is for you, but take one day and rest. Don't worry about a to-do list. Don't worry about meeting a bunch of deadlines. Hang out in the sun with your family all day if you want to. Cook a nice meal for your family. Maybe call a friend you haven't heard from in awhile. Write a card to a long-distance pal. Whatever you do, just spend time enjoying the life God has given you and rest. Be careful not to fill up your schedule so high that you don't have time to invest in your relationship with God, your family, and the friendships He has given you. These relationships are going to be what matters in five years, not whether or not you met another deadline for the week. Keep pressing on, friends. What are some ways that you rest when feeling burned out? What are some fun activities you like to do with family or friends on your rest days? Since it is officially my favorite season of the whole year, I am taking advantage of wearing flip flops and t-shirts everywhere I go, drinking too much lemonade, and getting just a little sun burnt. I have never liked being cold, so putting me out in the summer heat makes me just about as happy as can be. As you can imagine, I try to make the most of every summer day God gives me. I enjoy every moment and try to make every summer a summer worth remembering. I don't know how you feel about eighty degree temperatures and flip flops, but whether or not you enjoy summer, I have compiled a simple list to help you enjoy summer just a little bit more. ;) I compiled this list with just a few of my own ideas on how to make this summer your best and most memorable yet. Ready? Grab your lemonade and let's start having fun... 1. Memorize Scripture. Maybe I'm biased because I've spent my summers doing Bible Bee since I was fourteen years old. But either way, memorizing Scripture is something we should be doing year-round. What better time to start than in the summer when the days are longer and less full? Maybe purpose this year to memorize a verse a day all summer long, or maybe a passage a week. Or maybe next year even join the Bible Bee and dedicate your entire summer to the Word of God. ;) 2. Have a Bible study at your house. Invite family and friends over to spend some time studying God's Word together. Summer nights are the perfect time to put out some chairs and sit under the sunset and discuss the Bible. Maybe you could make it a weekly thing, or maybe it's more attainable to just do it once or twice in your summer. S'mores are always a bonus for this event. 3. Visit a new park. I don't know about you, but I don't care how old I get, I am going to love swings. I love visiting new and old parks throughout the summer time. Be a kid again and play around! 4. Go swimming this summer! I love swimming, even though I haven't actually been swimming in forever. Go to a water park or an outdoor pool. If a friend has a pool, see if you can visit them. If you have a pool, invite friends over for a pool party with pizza! 5. Have an adventure at midnight. At least once during your summer, you must go for a late-night adventure. (For minors: with your parent's approval, of course.) Maybe you simply go out to a fast food place that is still open, or you go get donuts at Walmart. Or maybe you just take a drive and listen to music with the windows down. An adventure doesn't have to be grand and extravagant. Adventures are made up of meaningful moments with people you love. 6. Try a new summer drink. I will always stick to my lemonade, because that's just how I am. I did try Chick-fil-A's new white peach tea lemonade, but I'm not a huge peach person so it wasn't my thing. Starbucks usually has new summer drink flavors, so go somewhere and try something new and refreshing. (Milkshakes are always a good idea too. That totally counts.) 7. Run barefoot through grass. Okay, this is one of my favorite things to do. I love going barefoot in the grass on a summer night. Always be careful where you're stepping, but I just love this feeling. Embrace your inner child! 8. Plan a picnic with your family. Go all out. Get a picnic basket and blanket, all the picnic foods (I adore macaroni salad, so yes, please), and go to a lake or nice park to eat together! You could even bring your Bible and discuss some passages together as you eat. And don't forget the camera to take lots of pictures. This is what memories are made of. 9. Stay off social media for 24 hours. No posting, tweeting, or sharing any pics or videos from your day. No scrolling news feeds or reading posts. Just get off social media and embrace your day. Have fun. The best kind of summer day is when your phone is still at 70 percent battery life by the end of the day because you were barely on it. :) 10. Try creating a one-second video of your month. Okay, my sister got me into this because her friend got her into it. At first I was a little bit hesitant because it didn't sound that fun. But after I started trying it for July, I love it! Start on the first of the month and every day take a very short, one-second long video. I didn't know how much could fit into one-second, but they are actually longer than you would think they would be. At the end of the month, piece together all of the one-second videos and you have a 30 or 31 second video of your entire month! It's so much fun and I can't wait to see what my July video looks like at the end of the month. 11. Read 5 new books. Summer is the perfect time to do what I love and read! Try splitting up your book genres and reading new material. Maybe read one fiction book, one classic, one devotional, one Christian living book, and one Bible commentary. Enjoy learning and growing as you widen your range of reading. 12. Sing aloud in the car. I love driving with the windows down in the summer, singing aloud to my favorite songs with my family. Wherever you may be driving, play your favorite music and sing with all of your heart! 13. Have a water balloon fight. Or you can use empty bottles that you fill up with water. Kenzie and I try to do this on the hottest days of summer. We will laugh so hard our sides hurt as we run around the house spraying each other with water. Activities that involve water are always a good idea in the summer. 14. Try something new. Maybe it's an activity you've never tried, a sport you've never played, a food you've never had, or a place you've never visited. Try new things this summer and keep a list, so you can look back at the end of the summer at all the fun, new things you tried! 15. Give back. Volunteer in some way this summer. Maybe you can volunteer to help at your church's VBS or in the nursery on Sundays. Maybe you can visit a local soup kitchen and help serve food one week. Maybe you could collect a bunch of canned food over the summer to take to the soup kitchen! Come up with your own unique ideas and give back to God this summer by loving and serving the least of these. 16. Cherish every moment. Time goes fast. Summer comes and goes before I can even catch my breath. Enjoy and cherish every moment. Say yes to new adventures. Dig deep into your Bible and invest in your relationship with God, family, and friends. Don't let this summer pass you by without making memories to last a lifetime. <3 Happy summer, friends! What are some of your summer plans this year? What is your favorite part about summer? Let me know in the comments below! |
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