I lay awake in bed, tossing and turning, yet again. Attempting to find a position, where my legs would stop spasming and my back would stop screaming out in pain. My eyes were wet with tears from the shooting sensation coming from my nerves. My pillow soaked sweat and tears as I moaned the only utterance possible, "Please God." Those two words held more weight and meaning than many other prayers I had ever prayed. It was a groan and asking for relief, for rest, for comfort.
This has been my reality for many years. Sleepless nights, wondering if God is near. Asking for comfort.
Nonetheless, even in those moments of weakness, the Lord has taught me many things on His character within my weakness.
Even when I am too weak to pray, He is interceding for me.
"Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered." Rom 8:26 (NKJV)
In our weakness, He is proven strong
"And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor. 12: 9-10 (NKJV)
You don't have to be the strong one. Christ is the one with the strength. You can be weak. I personally struggle with allowing myself to be weak, rest, and ask for help. I often have the mentality of, "fake it till you make it." However, this thought is not healthy and goes against the way that Christ has created us. Would we all learn to lean on Christ for our strength?
There is a purpose behind our pain
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. " (2 Cor 1:3-4, emphasis added)
Reader, I know that you might be walking through a difficult season. Your health may be failing you. Your marriage may be down in the dumps. Maybe you hit rock bottom. However, Christ is in the pain with you.
He is carrying you.
Eliza Downer, a teacher by day and writer by night, can often be found enjoying creation or sipping a cup of coffee. She currently resides in Colorado with her parents and 11 siblings. To read more of her writing, visit her website here: Window Into My World.