This is a letter to the girl who thought her life would be a straight path from start to finish. To the girl who was so sure of what her future would have to hold. Who thought that if you made a plan and stuck to it that somehow life would follow that perfectly. The girl who believed that for something to be beautiful it had to go according to the plan she set for herself. This is a letter to the girl who was shook to the core when plans flipped upside down and life felt so different from what she imagined and it turned out to be nowhere near that ideal she imagined for herself of where she would be in five or ten years. For that girl was me. Dear younger me, You think that if you pray about something hard enough and you plan for something long enough that it’ll somehow all turn out exactly as you planned and hoped and dreamed. You believe that if you push towards your goals and hopes and plans with all of your heart that surely… surely they’ll all come to pass if you just work hard enough. You have put your trust in all of your plans and hopes because you somehow thought that life was in your control. Or maybe that’s what you hoped for, because sometimes it’s so much easier to try to control it all than surrender it all. You thought that if you started here and your goal was to end up there that somehow if you just kept walking towards that finish line, you’d get there without all the detours and interruptions that life is famous for. But life didn’t turn out like that five or ten year plan you always mapped out for yourself. It doesn’t turn out exactly that way for anyone. And somewhere along the way it all broke your heart. Maybe it was the moment when you felt you lost control of it all and you were scared to surrender it. Maybe it was the moment when things changed so much you weren’t sure you could handle your “new normal.” Or maybe it was the moment when you realized that life is more like a roller coaster than a straight path. But maybe most of all I think that what broke you the most was when you whispered, “How can life be beautiful here? In the middle of all the change and hurt and different and things I never wanted or hoped for. Surely life can’t be beautiful this way.” For that moment was when you believed a lie that could’ve held you back from all that your good God had planned for you. It was the moment you were almost content to lay down in the lie and stay there, allowing its destruction to harm you more. And if I could reach back and tell you one thing it would be this: Oh yes, brave soul, life can be so… so beautiful in the unknown or chaotic. God makes no mistakes. His plans might include a few bumps or twists and turns, but they’re going to turn out good in some way. His plans might hurt and ache and cause you to wonder when the tears will end, but He’s still good. And someday you’re going to realize something that will affect how you view the rest of life… Just as flowers and Christmas tree lights are both beautiful, they are oh, so different. Yet each one is beautiful in its own way. Your life is going to be oh, so different than you imagined or dreamed, but His plans for you? They’re beautiful. A different kind of beautiful than you maybe imagined, but beautiful just the same. For truly He makes everything beautiful in His time. Keep holding on to see it. He is worthy of your trust. Comments are closed.
|
Archives
October 2019
Categories |